Born To Die.
The scars tell a story her lips could never tell. The cuts & bruises told a tale never told. The words she wrote upon her skin portrayed her thoughts on how she felt. One day she sought to find some help, but all they did was call her names. She searches and searches but will find no hope until the day she dies.
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So I’ve talked about how my mom doesn’t understand anything before. And I’m going to talk about it again. She is too thick headed. With PTSD comes personal boundaries. She does not respect them AT ALL. I don’t want to be touched and when she tried to touch me I jerk away & she says, literally she just said this,” you stop that I won’t put up with that. I’m your mother I’m allowed to touch you.” Ok. No. Nope. Not at all. Mine of that statement is true. I’ve tried telling her so many times to ask permission before touching me, to respect my boundaries but she does not give a shit about what I say. She’s “teaching” me that just because someone’s my something they automatically have the right to touch me. That it doesn’t matter if I don’t want to be touched because my opinion doesn’t matter and anyone should be allowed to touch me. I have to live with this every fucking day. Constantly being touched. And with every single touch brings back memories and self loathing, it makes me feel less than human again. It makes me feel like I’m back in the hidden closet. And back at that party. And back in the dim bathroom.. I already have enough trouble with being touched in school and by doctors. It just makes me want to hide everything and hide myself and disappear. And I don’t know what to do. My panic attacks are debilitating, but she doesn’t care. My CPTSD is crippling, but she doesn’t care. My depression is incapacitating, but she doesn’t care. My social anxiety is a black hole that is consuming me, but she doesn’t care. She demands something that is not possible of me. She’s waiting for something that can never happen. She is tormenting me for not being ‘normal’ or ‘ok’. And I can’t take it. I can’t do this. I’m terrified to talk. Even the thought of getting up paralyzes me…but the image of her coming into my room and yelling about how much of a horrible daughter/person/human I am. And that I should just get over it because it’s not real. Just smile. Put up appearances. WELL I CANT FUCKING DO APPEARANCES ANYMORE. FUCK appearances. FUCK YOU HER HIM THEM EVERYONE. I can’t do this. Even without her on my case everything else is already debilitating enough… I just. I can’t. Ugh.

Please Help My Friend Eveline Get a Service Dog! →

motordives:

Hi everyone! My friend Eveline is such a talented, amazing, beautiful person and it would mean the world to her if she could get a much-needed service dog! Whatever you can spare would be going towards helping her adopt Nassa! 

please reblog in order to spread this as far and wide as possible! thank you~

thebugbears:

Sorry it’s a bit long.

I’ve had a rough time this week and was worrying that I was going to get bad again. But Kaylie reminded me of all the things that are different in my life now.  I process things a lot better through writing/art, so yesterday I decided to do a thing to help myself remember.

http://8bitpup.tk/post/69897984947/im-so-fucking-mad-jet-blue-made-me-get-a-doctors →

8bitpup:

I’m so FUCKING mad
Jet Blue made me get a doctors note because their own ADA people didn’t believe my service dog is a service dog
You know why?
Because people have been bringing fake service dog IDs and vests and bullshitting their pets onto the plane
I have an anxiety disorder how do you…

Hi, sorry to intrude, but I have severe anxiety, complex ptsd, depression, and other mental illnesses. I noticed you said you have a service dog for anxiety? Might I ask how you made that happen? I’ve just been wanting to get a certified service dog because of how debilitating the symptoms can be… Sorry to bother you..

Reblog this if you know someone with autism

max-bemis-is-my—patriarch:

I’m doing a survey

lacigreen:

50shadesofacceptance:

superdodirty:

it ok to not be ready

Please spread this shit like wildfire. People go on and sit through the whole experience and they’re uncomfortable because they just want to please their partner and they don’t tell them that they want to stop because they are not ready. It’s okay not to be ready. 

i wish someone had told me this kind of stuff when i was younger… ಠ_ಠ

(via max-bemis-is-my--patriarch)

jump-doughboy-jump:

vriska-ler:

no but what pisses me off is when parents dont let boys and girls hang out as friends like especially when it comes to sleepovers

like no i dont want his dick in me i want to sit on my floor and throw board game pieces at him when i lose

finally someone said it

(Source: krumpany, via hothothotboysboysboys)

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